


Is Better Enough?

by EverAnon



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverAnon/pseuds/EverAnon
Summary: The discussion, (argument?), with Barnes reminds Hamid of a certain time in Cairo. (Minor spoilers for episodes 153 and 93)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Is Better Enough?

_Hands up, people, who have multiple houses._

Hamid, (reluctantly), raises his hand. He’s keenly aware of the fact that no one else has.

_Hands up, people, who are directly responsible, or at least like their family is, for the administration of that wealth._

Hamid raises his hand again. He can’t _not,_ not when people _know,_ but still…

 _Hands up, people, who ended up doing incredibly dangerous work, and watching all of their friends die and stuff, by_ **_choice_** _, instead of necessity._

Hamid flinches. _Had_ he had a choice? He’d fallen in with a mercenary group by chance, out of money and options. If he hadn’t met them, what would he have done? He brings that up, and Barnes counters by pointing out that at least he wouldn’t have been homeless because his parents had bought him a flat before cutting him off, which was _true_ , but...

The whole conversation feels a little too much like Cairo. Like Azu and Grizzop, yelling at him about how his father shouldn't be taking responsibility for Saleh's crime. Like Sasha, swigging a bottle of whiskey and saying, saying…

_It’s fine, guys, he was a friend of Bertie's. He’s a rich guy, it just works out for them._

Those words had cut more deeply than any of Azu or Grizzop’s arguments. Bertie _had_ been a friend once, yes, but that didn’t mean Hamid didn't know he had been a horrible person. But Sasha had compared the two of them like they were the same, like Bertie had been horrible because he was _rich,_ and therefore being rich automatically made Hamid horrible too.

He still doesn’t entirely understand, although he’s pretended to. How everyone could have been so convinced that his father taking responsibility for Saleh’s crimes was _wrong,_ but paying the university so Hamid could stay out of meritocratic prison had been, if not _right,_ at least acceptable. They hadn’t told him to immediately confess, stopped him from working with them, insisted on any consequences for his actions at all. Just because Hamid had done something with his life afterwards, had tried to be _better_.

(Neither Azu nor Grizzop had seemed to care that giving Saleh the same chance to be better was all Hamid had ever wanted to do. Hamid had improved in the past, so it was okay. Saleh might improve in the future, so it wasn’t.)

Once again Hamid is in the wrong, which he understands, he’s _used_ to, but Barnes seems to be arguing that he’s in the wrong just because of who his parents are. And that...that he isn’t used to. At least not recently.

(In boarding school it had been a different story. Everyone there was wealthy so no one cared about his family’s money. What they _did_ care about was Hamid’s race, the color of his skin, the accent he’d tried so hard to eliminate as quickly as possible.)

Zolf speaks up for him, which he hadn’t expected. Tells Barnes to lay off, that he’s _trying_. Which he is, he’s trying to be better, he _is,_ but…

Then the conversation takes a sharp turn, and the topic of Hamid’s money is shelved as they begin a discussion about responsibility and accidents, and Hamid resolutely pushes everything down in favor of trying to comfort Zolf. Because that’s what a better person would do.

(And if he starts taking bigger sips of his wine, and actively avoids touching Azu for the first time since they’ve been locked in this cell, well...everyone’s too drunk to notice.)

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I actually agree with Barnes' point in this episode. But it still reminded me of episode 93 where everyone kind of ganged up on Hamid as though 'person falsely confessing to save someone else' was inherently a rich people thing. (I didn't agree with Hamid there either, but I still have Feelings about that argument, especially since it happened on the same day as his sister's funeral.)


End file.
